While it WOULD be pretty awesome to see Tiger's gorgeous blonde kinda ex-wife Elin Nordegren kicking butt as the herione James Bond movies never have, the title is actually referring to her sneakiness in discovering her husband's trysts. THAT'S RIGHT, GUYS. We now know what went down on Thanksgiving, when Tiger's mysterious car crash caused the story to go out into the open. Apparently, Tiger had caught wind of The National Inquirer's soon-to-be-posted article revealing Tiger's first mistress Rachel Uchitel. Tiger told Elin that he and Rachel were just acquaintances. Rachel and Elin even spoke over the phone, appeasing Elin.

But, later that night, as Tiger was deep in the medicated sleep that only an Ambien could provide, Elin stole his cell phone and texted Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger. Devious. The Daily Beast reports:

There she found text messages to Uchitel’s number—Uchitel was apparently listed in Tiger’s cellphone under her real name — and among them she discovered one that said, “You are the only one I’ve loved.” Shortly after 1 a.m. in Florida, Elin began texting Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger, according to both sources. Elin wrote, “I miss you,” and asked, “When are we seeing each other again?” Uchitel texted back, seemingly surprised that Woods was awake. Elin specifically felt, one source told me, that this response indicated that the two of them spoke earlier that night, before Tiger took his Ambien. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Tiger calling. Both sources said that Elin said something approximating, “I knew it was you.” Uchitel’s surprised reply, according to what Elin told one source: “Oh f--k.” She immediately hung up.

In anger, Elin woke up Tiger who, still in his Ambien-seeped stupor, texted Uchitel to tell her that Elin knew the truth and that "divorce was imminent." This text was again discovered by the wily Elin, at which point she completely freaked out on him and went after him with a golf club, causing Tiger to crash his uber-expensive SUV and causing the first scandal of 2010.

Nice.